Fickle Girl

I keep getting these emails from the Cleveland Marathon with training tips to increase your speed, improve your pace, help you have the most successful race ever, reduce your chance of injury….You get the picture right? These are things that normal people training for a marathon worry about as they prep for the big day. I, on the other hand, am not normal. I am a fickle, fickle girl.

I worry about how much I am supposed to drink on race day. I mean, I’m not running, just walking. Absolutely NO running allowed as Bucket List Sam keeps reminding us. I’m not going to be sweating as much as the speed demons, so how much should I drink? I mean, it’s a valid concern. I need to know whether I should buy one of those little water belt thingies or not. I mean, on one hand I think it will make me looks so hard core. On the other, will people laugh at me and wonder why the silly walker girl needs that when she’s barely moving?

Also, I read something about how you’re not suppose to eat anything pre-race or during the race that you haven’t tried before so you know for sure how it will….uh, affect your body. Let’s be realistic here. One, I don’t need anything else slowing me down. I am my own biggest hindrance. Two, I am a chubby girl. Ima gonna needa snack. So, now I need a dress rehearsal with my food and beverage?

But, what’s at the top of my worry list? Wardrobe. You knew it was coming, right? Coach Angie thinks it’s hilarious that I tend to coordinate my workout gear right down to my shoelaces and ponytail holder. It’s true, it happens. Honestly, it’s actually pretty easy to do because I typically only buy my workout clothes from the very best store in the world (Target) and they seem to only ever have two colors – hot pink or aqua. So, I coordinate. Big deal.

But, we have very big wardrobe concerns when it comes to this race. Apparently, in addition to not ingesting anything into your body new on race day, you’re not suppose to wear anything new on your body on race day. One word – Chafing. Something you don’t want to happen. Which brings me to the question of the difference in walking vs. running – is this as big of a concern if I’m walking and not running? Remember BLS’s words – ABSOLUTELY, repeat after me, ABSOLUTELY NO RUNNING. Common sense tells us that we absolutely do not want chafing so now we’re really going to need a dress rehearsal, aren’t we? But, this isn’t just any dress rehearsal. This is NE Ohio. We need outfits for sun/heat, dreary rain and probably just to be safe….snow.

We also have to take this important fact into consideration…there is a hunky boy doing the same, fast course, half marathon. This adds such a level of concern to my already fickle worries. What if I don’t meet him until the race and he wants to meet post-race? What if I DO meet him and then he wants to wait for me at the finish line? Hunky is going to run a 2 minute mile on this awesomely fast course, while I on the other hand will be crawling across the finish line in something more like a 4 hour-ish time frame. I’m pretty sure that while my outfit will be insanely coordinated that I’m not going to be making the best first impression when I’m sweaty, red-faced, probably crying, crawling across the finish line. I told you. I’m a fickle girl.